It’s time to rethink the gratitude checklist

This Thanksgiving, I’m bringing a more meaningful ritual to the table.

Photo by Gabrielle Henderson on Unsplash

I have a radical proposal for you: This year, instead of listing everything you’re thankful for at Thanksgiving, why not tell a story instead?

Storytelling is, of course, the act of telling stories about life experiences, situations, or other events large or small. (There’s also fictional storytelling, but that’s not what I’m focused on here. I’ll leave that to novelists!) Storytelling is a uniquely human act, one that has connected people for as long as the human race has been able to communicate.

Today, corporations use storytelling to sell their products and services, individuals use it to convey their personal brand, academics use it to teach students and get across what might otherwise be considered dry concepts. In the article Dialogues: The Science and Power of Storytelling in the Journal of Neuroscience, the authors explain that “this is because stories, and in particular personal stories, have the ability to illuminate fault lines, highlight oddities, and paint a picture of the past, present, and future that is both compelling and easily understandable.”

Researchers like neuroscientist Uri Hasson, a professor in the Psychology Department and the Neuroscience Institute at Princeton University, have delved deep into the science of storytelling and how people respond to it. Hasson’s research revealed that when someone tells a story, their brain responses correlate with the listener’s brain responses, creating a shared understanding.

Storytelling brings feelings and ideas and experiences to life, fostering connections between the storyteller and the listener. It’s a powerful force of good, and one I want to share with my loved ones this holiday season. Here’s why:

It’s a way to show gratitude

Storytelling is a way to show gratitude for the blessings in your life, whether they be people, opportunities, or anything else that fulfills you. By sharing a story about someone at the holiday table and their impact on your life, it becomes a more meaningful part of the celebration. You can also share a story about an opportunity you had this year, and how it changed your life in a small or large way. In telling this story, you’re letting others into your life and your heart in a more significant way than if you simply said “I’m grateful for my new job that I love.”

It’s a constructive way to exchange viewpoints

Tensions can sometimes run high at holiday gatherings, with family members disagreeing on everything from whole-berry or jellied cranberry sauce, to government policy and personalities. Using storytelling to get your point across can be less confrontational than saying “whole-berry is the best, and anyone who disagrees simply has no taste”. In weaving a narrative about a topic, you’re allowing the listener to see and feel and imagine what you are trying to convey. It’s not guaranteed to change anyone’s mind, but it will likely make for a more peaceful discussion.

It honors those who aren’t here

Even if the holiday guest list is short this year, you can make absent family and friends a part of the occasion by sharing anecdotes about previous celebrations they were a part of, or just fond memories of time spent with them. It’s an especially lovely way to remember loved ones you’ve lost and bring them to life for younger generations.

It can combat seasonal loneliness

The holiday season can be a lonely and difficult time for many. If you find yourself feeling down, writing down favorite stories and memories may help you feel closer to people you love. To take it a step further, you might consider sharing those stories with them, to let them know you’re thinking of them.

While I’m looking forward to making storytelling a new tradition this Thanksgiving, the fact is we can all harness the power of storytelling at any holiday (and not just American holidays, of course), to bring everyone closer together and share experiences in a meaningful way. And we can encourage others to do the same by drawing out stories from them, creating a new ritual that will enrich the celebration for everyone.

📖 What I’m re-reading: There is so much heart and wisdom and insight in Susan McPherson’s book, The Lost Art of Connecting, that I couldn’t absorb it all in my first read. She really nails exactly why our social media connections don’t always feel meaningful, and how an approach of “gather, ask, do” can build stronger connections—in business and in life.

📱 Who I’m following: Karen Eber, who preaches the power of storytelling in her TED talk, on her Instagram account, and in her upcoming book, The Perfect Story: How to tell stories that inform, influence and inspire.

🗃️ What I’m loving: My gift guide ideas are coming next month, but for year-round fun I’m obsessed with these “You Make Everything Better” compliment cards. I love the idea of handing them out to friends (“It’s fun to laugh at myself when I’m with you”), coworkers (“You are good at listening”), and anyone whose day I want to brighten.

🍬 What I’m eating: The perfect balance of nutty, sweet, and salty—without leaning into candy territory—Skinny Dipped Dark Chocolate Salted Caramel Cashews are a snack I always keep on hand.