What is happiness to you?
How do you define happiness and joy?
Some people describe happiness as an overall feeling of contentment with your life, and your place in it. Others say it’s found only in fleeting moments. As for joy, while some describe it as a sustainable emotion, other people liken it to an intense flare that pops up at unexpected times.
There’s no one way to define happiness and joy, and that’s ok. It doesn’t truly matter how we define these feelings, as long as we are continuously seeking the positive in life.
And we are. Undergrads, business school candidates, and anyone with access to the internet can take courses in happiness, including Harvard Business School’s Leadership and Happiness, and a version of Yale’s most popular course ever, Psychology and the Good Life, available on Coursera as The Science of Wellbeing. There are numerous conferences centered around the idea of happiness. Recently I spoke at the World Happiness Summit as well as The Atlantic’s In Pursuit of Happiness event, both of which brought together experts in science, philosophy, art, business, and other disciplines, all with one goal: to build a happier life that is sustainable.
The pandemic helped prompt this renewed search for the experiences that lead to joy and happiness. As we were forced to retreat to our homes and cancel many obligations in the outside world, our “everyday” lives slowed down long enough to recognize what we have perhaps always known: that happiness is an inside job.
Over the past two years, I know I’ve thought about the things that I really value in life, things that matter to me. Maybe you’ve been doing that, too? The more people I speak with about this, the more I see that in our new life, we want to spend more time with friends, and incorporate new daily routines that serve us a bit better. Make time for family and the things that bring us joy.
How do we do that?
Take action for yourself. Each of us needs to consciously create happiness and cultivate it for ourselves. Otherwise, you just kind of go through life, not knowing if you’re happy or unhappy.
Focus on meaning, not “more”. People are waking up to the fact that this culture of constant striving in life for more, more, more isn’t making them happy. It’s easy to get caught in the hamster wheel of “I’ll be happy when…” But “when” never comes. What makes you happy now? Start there.
Look out for others. Finding your own happiness doesn’t preclude helping others find theirs. In fact, the simple act of helping someone else can increase positive feelings! How can you help others tap into their own happiness?
Feel all of it. To me, happiness is the ability to experience life fully—the good and the bad. Part of appreciating and being grateful for the really good things in life is recognizing when things aren’t so great and drawing on resilience in those times. And along the way, we get rewarded with little moments of joy, like when you’re with friends and you start laughing so hard your stomach hurts.
Achieving individual happiness is its own reward. But even bigger than that is the idea that as a society, we won’t be so angry all the time. We will get back to a place where we can have relationships with other human beings with whom we may not share the same POV on a given subject—or any subject. We can disagree and not hate each other. I think if people were content and happy with their lives, it would just be easier to move through the world.
What brings you happiness?
Leave a comment below or comment on my Insta post and let me know.
What I’m reading: This article on glimmers, which are the opposite of triggers. To me, glimmers are joy—like my dog Fiona, always, no matter what.
What I’m watching: There are not enough tv shows like CBS Sunday Morning. The show highlights the news stories you never hear, because they aren’t sensational and horrific—they feature the good that’s happening in the world. That sort of news exists, but we have to seek it out.
What I’m loving: Smart Sweets Sweet Fish are little bites of joy. These Swedish fish-like gummies taste so good, the fact that they have no sugar alcohols, artificial sweeteners, or added sugar just sweetens the deal.
When I founded the Society of Happy People over two decades ago we identified Thirty-One Types of Happiness -- because it's really different for everyone, and can be different based on what we are going through. We're about to celebrate our 22nd Happiness Happens Month and we'll be featuring the 31 Types of Happiness to help people identify more of the happy moments they already experience. As I call it in my new book Practical Happiness: Happiness is Bigger Than You Think,.
This is terrific. We need more discussion around the various possible definitions of happiness, and how it might not be what we think it is.